How to Write a Personal Statement (Tips + Essay Examples)
Writing a personal statement spanning nearly two decades can be intimidating. In this blog, I'll provide structured guidance on crafting an effective personal statement. Whether you're using the Common Application, Coalition Application, or a school-specific portal, the challenge remains: finding a topic that conveys your identity's complexity within word limits. However, this process can be enlightening. It encourages introspection, helping you understand your values and aspirations.
In the following sections, I'll explain what sets a personal statement apart from other essays in your college application, outline key attributes for a standout statement, offer insights into choosing a compelling topic, provide writing strategies, and showcase impactful essay examples. Join me in navigating this vital aspect of the college application, turning the daunting into the enlightening and the intimidating into the enriching.
Let's go.
What exactly constitutes a personal statement? Is it simply another term for an "essay"?
A personal statement is a written composition that showcases your character, highlighting the qualities, skills, and values you bring to college. While typically used by college admission offices, it's also common for scholarships and academic departments to assess candidates.
To understand it better, consider your entire college application as a body. The personal statement is like the "heart," encapsulating your core identity and motivations for academics and personal growth.
However, it's essential to clarify what a personal statement is not. It's not a traditional five-paragraph English essay with a clear thesis, evidence, and restatement.
Here are more ways that Personal Statements differ from English Class Essays:
When it comes to choosing a topic, there's no right or wrong one. The key is to select a subject that effectively reflects your skills, qualities, values, and interests, regardless of whether it's a personal anecdote or an introspective theme.
While I refer to it as the "topic," remember that the essay is ultimately about you. Like the heart drives the body, the personal statement provides context for your entire application.
This essay offers an opportunity to discuss significant life events, and experiences shaping your identity, and your core interests and values.
What makes a great personal statement?
In reality, there is no universal formula that guarantees college admission success – a bit of a letdown, I admit. Nevertheless, outstanding personal statements tend to exhibit several common qualities, even when they explore vastly different topics. Here, I outline key attributes that contribute to the excellence of a personal statement:
Evident Core Values: An exceptional personal statement offers a glimpse into the applicant's core values. Readers should discern what inspires, fulfills, and excites the author. These values may encompass a wide range, from humor and beauty to community and autonomy. Ideally, upon revisiting your essay, readers should identify at least 4-5 distinct values. It's also worth considering whether these values are varied or similar; a variety of values, such as resourcefulness, healthy boundaries, and diversity, can provide a more nuanced understanding of your identity.
Vulnerability: The most compelling personal statements are those in which students allow themselves to be vulnerable. It's crucial to candidly discuss aspects of your life that evoke fear, challenge, or discomfort. The personal statement provides a safe space to share these facets of yourself. As you write, reflect on whether your essay primarily sounds analytical or if it emanates from a deeper, more vulnerable place. In essence, does it originate from your head (intellect) or your heart and gut? Remember, this essay serves as the "heart" of your application, an opportunity for emotional vulnerability, allowing admission officers to gain a profound understanding of who you are.
Insight and Growth: A stellar personal statement should include 3-5 "so what" moments—instances where you draw insights or reflections from your experiences that directly relate to your values or sense of purpose. These moments can range from subtle to explicit, but they should always illuminate your thought process and the journey of self-reflection. The goal is to allow your reader to witness your mind in action, embarking on a journey of introspection with you.
Craftsmanship: While content holds significance, the craftsmanship of your personal statement is what breathes life into your narrative. View writing as a meticulous process; it's exceedingly rare to encounter an exceptional personal statement that hasn't undergone at least five drafts. Every word should be carefully weighed and considered. The cohesion of ideas should be logical but not overly predictable to prevent monotony. The reader should perceive the author's dedication through multiple revisions. Your essay should maintain interest and conciseness throughout, and if it falters, pinpoint where engagement wanes and where superfluous words can be trimmed. It's often valuable to obtain feedback from trusted individuals, such as friends, teachers, or family members, who can assess your essay against these criteria.
In essence, a remarkable personal statement embodies these qualities, showcasing your values, vulnerability, insights, and growth, all while maintaining a high level of craftsmanship in its execution. This combination serves as a compelling testament to your unique identity and potential contribution to the college community.
HOW TO GENERATE COMPELLING PERSONAL STATEMENT TOPICS THROUGH BRAINSTORMING
Selecting an exceptional personal statement topic is a critical step in crafting a compelling essay. The choice of topic often aligns with the structural approach you intend to employ—whether it's a narrative or montage structure. Let's delve into this process and explore how to generate outstanding content for each structure:
1. Understanding Structural Choices: Narrative vs. Montage
Before delving into topic selection, it's essential to decide between a narrative or montage structure. This choice often hinges on your response to a fundamental question: Have you faced significant challenges in your life, and do you wish to write about them?
If your answer is yes to both, the narrative structure is likely the way to go. It typically involves equal focus on Challenges Faced, Actions Taken, and Lessons Learned, with causal connections between paragraphs and events.
If your answer is no to either, the montage structure is a viable option. It centers on a series of thematically connected experiences and insights.
2. Aligning Your Topic with Your Chosen Structure
The choice of structure significantly influences the selection of your topic:
For a montage essay (one not primarily centered on challenges), an ideal topic or theme should be elastic, allowing you to connect it to various examples, moments, or values. It should also be less common, steering clear of topics that many other students are likely to write about.
For a narrative essay, particularly one focused on challenges, the topic should involve difficult or compelling challenges and offer insightful reflections.
Note that these qualities exist on a spectrum, and their degree of prominence may vary depending on your unique perspective.
3. Elasticity and Uniqueness for Montage Essays
If you opt for a montage structure, consider these factors when brainstorming:
Elasticity: An ideal topic should be something you can connect to a variety of examples, moments, or values. Its versatility in weaving through different facets of your identity and experiences makes it stand out.
Uniqueness: While popular themes like mission trips, sports, or music can still work, they make it harder to distinguish your essay. Exploring less common topics can make your essay more distinctive.
4. Challenges and Insight for Narrative Essays
When pursuing a narrative structure, particularly if your essay revolves around challenges, focus on:
Challenges: Seek topics that involve genuinely difficult or compelling challenges. While it's possible to craft a strong essay around a less intense challenge, it presents a greater writing challenge.
Insight: Your essay should culminate in a meaningful "so what?" moment that surprises and resonates with readers. Keep in mind that insights often develop during the writing process, so your chosen topic should allow room for this growth.
5. The Power of Brainstorming
Effective brainstorming is the foundation of every exceptional college essay. Initially, remain in exploration mode and outline 2-3 different ideas before commencing a draft. Quality brainstorming can reveal topics you hadn't considered previously, expanding your horizons and potentially uncovering unique subjects that can be explored in your essay. Moreover, a well-structured outline can save you time and enhance your first draft or reveal when a topic may not be as rich as initially thought.
In essence, the process of brainstorming personal statement topics plays a pivotal role in shaping your essay's quality and distinctiveness. By considering structure, elasticity, uniqueness, challenges, and insights, you can identify topics that align with your narrative or montage approach, enhancing your chances of crafting an outstanding personal statement.
Here are 5 helpful brainstorming exercises to kickstart your personal statement ideas:
The Values Exercise is crucial as it should be woven into your entire application, regardless of your chosen personal statement structure. I recommend doing all these exercises since they can unearth new insights, and you'll likely need them for supplemental essays.
For those leaning toward a Narrative Structure, especially if you have significant challenges to address, dedicate ample time to explore the Feelings and Needs Exercise, as it can guide you in creating a strong outline and initial draft.
If you're considering a montage approach, think about how your essence objects and the 21 details can be thematically linked to your core values and memories.
Montages can be effectively constructed around various themes, such as:
Identity: This can encompass aspects like sexuality, culture, race, or religion. Academic/Career Interests: It goes beyond listing favorite classes or detailing your performance in a single test. Instead, it delves into your educational interests and reflects on how they may shape your future work.
Meaningful Objects: These "essence objects" hold special significance because they connect to your values on a deeper level. For instance, you might choose dumplings because they evoke memories of family dinners during Chinese New Year and a specific moment of cultural self-discovery. Refer to the Essence Objects Exercise to identify objects that resonate with your life.
Significant Obstacles or Events: You have the option to write about challenges you've encountered or dilemmas that compelled you to contemplate your identity or interests more profoundly.
Keep in mind that some topics may overlap, and you don't have to limit yourself to just one. This list serves as a starting point to explore various facets of your life and experiences.
HOW TO APPROACH WRITING YOUR PERSONAL STATEMENT
Begin with an Outline
Yes, you read that correctly—outline. If you have ample time until your deadline and don't mind the possibility of starting over, you can dive right into writing. However, for a more efficient and effective writing process, outlining is highly recommended.
But how should you outline?
For a narrative structure, utilize the Feelings and Needs Exercise to construct clear bullet points for the Challenges + Effects, What I Did About It, and What I Learned sections. These bullet points will serve as your outline.
For a montage structure, create an outline that connects 4-7 aspects of your life to different values through various experiences. If possible, also consider different lessons and insights (although these may develop during the writing process). For instance, how your involvement in auto repair relates to family, literature, curiosity, adventure, and personal growth.
Below, you'll find sample outlines for both narrative and montage essays:
Narrative Outline (Developed from the Feelings and Needs Exercise):
Challenges:
Domestic abuse (physical and verbal)
Controlling father/lack of freedom
Harassment
Sexism/bias
Effects:
Prevented from pursuing opportunities
Cut off from the world/family
Lack of freedom/independence
Faced discrimination
What I Did About It:
Pursued my dreams
Traveled to Egypt, London, and Paris alone
Challenged stereotypes
Explored new places and cultures
Developed self-confidence, independence, and courage
Grew as a leader
Planned events
What I Learned:
Inspired to help others more
Learned about oppression and how to challenge oppressive norms
Became closer to mother, somewhat healed relationship with father
Need for freedom
Montage Outline:
Thread: Home
Bojangles
Values: family, tradition, literature
Ex: "Tailgate Special," discussions with family, reading Nancy Drew
Perception, connection to family
Chinese sword dance
Values: culture/heritage, meticulousness, dedication, creativity
Ex: notebook, formations/choreography
Nuances of culture, power of connection
Lab 304
Values: science/chemistry, curiosity
Synthesizing platinum nanoparticles
Joy of discovery, redefining expectations
Governor’s School
Values: exploration, personal growth
Knitting, physics, politics, etc.
Importance of exploring beyond what I know/am used to, taking risks
Now, Write
With a solid outline in hand, begin drafting your personal statement. Here are some essential tips for your first draft:
Don't worry about word count (within reason).
Don't aim for perfection in your first draft; it's meant to be a starting point.
Don't worry about crafting a fancy opening or ending just yet.
Many students become overly concerned about word count in their initial drafts. If your first draft of a 650-word essay exceeds 800 or 900 words, that's acceptable. You can trim it down later during the editing process. The primary goal of the first draft is to get your ideas on paper and provide direction for subsequent revisions.
Strong openings and endings can be developed more effectively once you have a clearer understanding of your content and structure. Thus, in your first draft, focus on getting your ideas down without worrying about perfecting the introduction or conclusion.
Revise (and Revise Again)
As mentioned earlier, it's exceptionally rare for an outstanding personal statement to emerge without undergoing at least five drafts. The revision process is a crucial part of creating a compelling essay. Essential items to check include:
Opening
Transitions
Ending
Reading your essay out loud to yourself is an effective way to identify issues that may have been missed during silent reading. Try to adopt the perspective of a complete stranger while reading to ensure that everything essential is on the page.
You may also consider reading your essay to a trusted family member, teacher, or friend for constructive feedback. However, keep in mind that while some people have a strong grasp of general writing principles, they may not be well-versed in what makes a strong college essay specifically.
THREE PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLES (WITH ANALYSIS FOR WHY THEY WORKED)
Example 1: "Cheers"
While my friends binge The Office, I’m at home with my favorite family tavern, Cheers. Reminiscing on my first visit five-years-ago, going into my tenth visit, I realize the gang at Cheers is my mirror: they reflect how I’ve grown.
Sam Malone. Handsome, charming, ex-pro athlete. When I first met Sam, I had the typical impression: a playboy. However, I now see the real Sam: a compassionate being. Raised in Birmingham, I’ve learned many positive lessons, but there are some lessons I’m ashamed of. Homophobia is still prevalent in Alabama; something platonic as hugging your friend fuels ridicule. There’s an episode where Sam is conflicted after discovering his old best-friend was gay. By the end, he determines that whom his friend loves shouldn’t affect their friendship--a progressive act for 1983. This became personal when my brother came out. I was angered that a society that taught me Southern hospitality tried to teach me to hate one of the people I love most. Sam’s actions taught me who one chooses to love doesn’t change their humanity and encouraged me to promote that view in Alabama. When classmates make homophobic comments, I always bring up my brother and our story. These same classmates are now attending the annual Pride parades, standing up for our friends’ rights.
Diane Chambers. Educated, elitist, starving artist. Diane loved the arts and displayed her work proudly, even if her cartoons of people depicted animals. As a kid, my dad attempted to teach me how to draw. These sessions ended in frustration, as I wasn’t able to recreate his work. While I was fascinated by the expression of creativity, I thought, “I’m not talented.” Through Diane’s character arcs, I learned art is not linear; it’s multi-dimensional. Diane would appreciate the discovery of my means of expression: graphic design and programming. I blend the two mediums to create an impactful product. Whether it’s designing and developing an app to battle the Tanzanian Water Crisis, or creating advertisements and social media posts for my internship at a construction-tech start-up, I reveal my vision through my greatest passion: technology.
Dr. Frasier Crane. Intelligent, empathetic, scientist. Frasier (I’m on a first-name basis), joined the gang later after falling in love with Diane at a mental health retreat. I first met Frasier when I struggled to fit in with my peers. While I had a passion for STEM and its ability to uncover mysteries of the unknown, my peers had a passion for hating everything academic. While I thought Frasier was super cool, I still called him a nerd. However, watching the way Frasier embraced science gradually allowed me to realize my love for it is something to hone rather than suppress. Eventually, I developed enough confidence to reach out to a professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham to conduct computational physics research. Over the past three years, I have completed two research projects, currently researching the distinct applications of computer vision, and have become a pioneer within STEM. Inspired by the love for Computer Science competitions, I founded the district’s first CS team. Upon concluding our presentation at the U.S. Capitol, I knew Frasier would be proud.
The Cheers gang. I have wondered why I clicked with them so well since I are different people. Sam the jock, Frasier the nerd, Diane the artist, I the awkward teenager. I’ve realized each of them is a part of me. When I face societal pressure, I always learn and overcome. While I’m passionate about science, I also love the arts. Whereas I used to be an antisocial 7th grader, I’m now a senior with great friends and mentors. No matter what I’m struggling with in life, I know I can return to Cheers, where everybody knows your name.
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WHY THIS WORKS WELL
This essay effectively employs the Montage Structure to weave together various facets of the applicant's life into a cohesive narrative. Notably, it uses the TV show Cheers and its characters as a creative framework to intertwine the author's interests in computer science and graphic design, her commitment to LGBTQ+ community support, and her endearing passion for all things nerdy. This approach cleverly unites seemingly unrelated topics while maintaining a lighthearted tone. It offers valuable insights into the author's personality and thought process, all while providing a well-defined structure for the essay. Each paragraph delves into a different Cheers character and, more importantly, explores the ways in which the author identifies with them. Despite the absence of a linear narrative, the essay maintains a clear purpose.
It's worth noting that the author doesn't possess a definitive career goal at this stage. Nevertheless, the essay skillfully incorporates specific details about how she has fused computer science and artistic design through participation in various clubs and events. While the essay doesn't explicitly outline her future career path, it effectively conveys her potential areas of interest in college. This serves as an excellent example of how to craft an exceptional personal statement, even when one's college aspirations and major remain somewhat uncertain, and there haven't been significant personal challenges to overcome.
Example 2:
All that I remember from my childhood are happy memories - of blowing balloons in summer after eating an ice-cone, coming from school to find my favourite snacks lined up on the table, my grandma feeding me with her own hands and never failing to add that extra spoon of ghee (clarified butter) to my rice.
My parents shielded us from everything that was bad in this world or could somehow hurt us. They were so protective that I learned to ride a bike on the roof of our three-story house because my parents didn’t think it was safe for me to ride on the road. Even on our roof, a place well within the four walls of our house, I had someone looking out for me.
That protective bubble around me finally popped when I was stopped from entering a temple where my family goes annually on an auspicious day. I loved that subtle fragrance of saffron and seeing the beautifully decorated temple with thousands of pilgrims lining up. My grandpa donates a lot there which allows us to enter early in the morning and perform the rituals without the usual crowd. The problem this year was a new rule that prohibited Western clothing. The strange thing was that they didn’t stop male my cousin even though I were wearing the exact same thing, jeans and t-shirt. I wouldn’t be surprised if this happened today but I was then, as I was only in middle school. I hadn’t seen anything like this yet because my family never treated us differently -- I hadn’t previously seen this side of the world.
I started trying to learn more about the “real world”, reading more news and participating in intercultural exchanges and debates, anything that would give me more insight. This process of exploring different versions of an event, of noticing how different people might see the same thing, made me more observant. But this also made me think of how others might see me and I became scared of being judged.
When I was elected Head Girl this past year, I became even more self-conscious because I was in the limelight -- and everything I would do would reflect on the school.
I thankfully realized how irrational my fears were during a hectic Round Square International Conference (RSIC) at school. I was busy heading our student team and managing crises. When a school bought more students than they’d registered, I didn’t have time to think, I had to rely on my instincts and take action. Teachers from across the world praised me; one even said I’d been the soul of our conference.
These small but empowering moments have helped me realize that I could trust my decisions, my input counted too. I need to be myself and worry less about what others think. I could have easily changed my clothes that day at the temple but I didn’t because that’s not who I am. There’s always going to be someone who might not approve of what I do and that is all right.
I am choosing to attend college in the United States because there I can continue my quest to learn more about the complexities of this world. My family never allowed me to use the public transportation in my city. I understand their concern, but I think it’s time for me to explore outside the safety of home, to ride a bike or take the subway, make my mistakes, and learn my way. At school, I felt like I was in the spotlight yet so invisible mostly because I worried about what others might think. But now I will choose to be visible, choose to be me.
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WHY THIS WORKS WELL
Right from the start, one of the most striking aspects of this essay is the incredible level of detail it incorporates. In the introduction, the author skillfully paints vivid images of moments like blowing balloons during the summer, savoring extra spoonfuls of ghee atop rice, and joyfully cycling on rooftops. The ability to immerse the reader in one's world and engage their senses is invaluable. By doing so, you enable readers to connect with you on a personal level and develop a clear understanding of your character. Moreover, this attention to specificity sets you apart from other applicants. The essence of the personal statement lies in demonstrating what makes you uniquely qualified, and this essay achieves precisely that.
Another noteworthy aspect of this essay is its journey from its initial point to a different destination by the end. This transformation reflects insight and personal growth. The author transitions from a state of questioning her instincts and judgments to embracing her inherent worth. She steadily gains confidence and recognizes the positive contributions she can make to the conversations she engages in. This transformation serves as a compelling hook that keeps readers engaged throughout the essay. The element of surprise entices readers to continue, eager to discover where the author's narrative will ultimately lead. Furthermore, this transformation effectively showcases the applicant's capacity for introspection and self-improvement, qualities highly regarded in college essays.
Example 3:
Apparently, I have a natural “mom vibe.”
On my volleyball team, I am team mom in every way. As a natural worrier, I like to make sure that everyone has all of their necessities: knee pads, water bottle, hair elastic, uniform. Did everyone go to the bathroom before leaving on the bus? Did we count to make sure that all fourteen of us are here? Does anyone want an apple slice? Over my many years of playing volleyball, I have learned how to play every position well enough to fill in for any member of my team, whether that’s front, back, libero, setter, or hitter, so that I can always be there for my team in a pinch.
A few years ago, I transitioned from looking after only my teammates to also helping actual children. I started volunteering at my former elementary school as a teacher’s assistant. I guide third graders through difficult word problems or sentence structures, sometimes translating the lesson to Mandarin for the Chinese students who are struggling with English. I live for that moment when the impossible suddenly becomes possible and I see a student use what they just learned correctly without any assistance.
I love helping kids ask big questions, and think about how to solve them, because it reminds me of how my parents guided me. Ever since I can remember, every time my father and I are alone on a long trip, we ask each other questions and the other has to answer with scientific evidence. Do birds have eyelids? Why is gelatin gelatinous? What does schizophrenia look like in a brain? I love thinking about how things work from the molecular level all the way up to the mechanical level.
During a recent internship, I had the opportunity to ask big questions through research, a step beyond the guesstimating I was used to doing in my dad’s CRV. The team I was working with was conducting studies focused on treating alcoholism. My job was to “clean up” the data, or make it more readable. I sifted through spreadsheets, digging for the important data and piecing everything together logically. Knowing that my contribution would have a positive impact on people’s lives was incredibly meaningful.
I’ve always enjoyed putting things together like a puzzle. As Chief Layout Editor of my school newspaper, I help my designers compile every edition. Like a real-life game of Tetris, every article must fit perfectly with the other articles around it, lined up into evenly lengthed columns. No matter how much experience a graphic designer has, no one gets all of their articles laid out nicely on the first try. We solve every edition by trial and error, which often results in lots of frustration, but no amount of frustration can surpass the pride and satisfaction once we have all the pages compiled and printed.
As a pediatrician, I will be able to strengthen and use all these parts of me. I will have the chance to treat a multitude of illnesses and injuries and problem solve my way through each one. Each day, I will be able to think critically and scientifically to give families possible solutions and peace of mind about their child’s health. I hope to continually expand my knowledge as medicine advances and ask big questions by frequently participating in research. Hopefully I’ll be able to work with a great group of peers in a clinic and in public health. I want to find new solutions to seemingly unsolvable problems, and finally, use all of my skills and qualities to help better the lives of others.
Plus, as a pediatrician, I will be able to take care of children who cannot always advocate for themselves, so my mom instinct will be one of my greatest assets.
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WHY THIS WORKS WELL
Here's another inventive example illustrating how you can approach crafting a montage essay. The author cleverly taps into her "mom vibe" and explores how her penchant for tending to people and the world around her has left its mark on various aspects of her life. Pay close attention to how effectively the first sentence captivates our attention. It's concise, witty, amusing, and stands in stark contrast to the more substantial paragraphs that follow. When you're composing your own essay, give careful thought to your opening sentence, as it serves as your initial impression on readers, and you'll want it to be a memorable one.
Another notable element in this essay is the skillful use of questions. Throughout the piece, the author poses a series of significant and often unanswered questions. This approach is excellent because it showcases her inherent curiosity and reveals her thought process in action. The beauty of it is that she doesn't necessarily have to provide answers to these questions for them to convey volumes about her personality and interests. You don't need to neatly resolve every issue by the essay's conclusion. In fact, doing so would be unrealistic and, frankly, less engaging. It's perfectly acceptable, and even encouraged, to pose questions simply out of sheer wonder. Embrace your inner enthusiasm and have fun with it.
With these valuable writing and brainstorming strategies and exemplary essays at your disposal, the prospect of crafting a personal statement should feel far less daunting. Armed with these tools, you're well-equipped to commence the creation of an exceptional essay.
I hope you’ve found this helpful and I wish you the best of luck in the application process. If you are looking for more information, please visit my website- Higher & Hire. If I can be of assistance to you, please reach out to me here.
Many Thanks!
Valerie Palmer
